Inconclusive

For those of you who have been following the recent developments in my cancer journey, you know I had a PET scan last week and we were waiting on the results. Unfortunately, as the title of this post suggests, we don’t know much more than before, other than that something appeared on the horizon that warrants further review.

Much like a NFL instant replay, the PET results are under further review as a biopsy was perform yesterday to remove cells from the adrenal gland above my left kidney. While the size of the gland hasn’t changed from previous scans, the uptake during this last PET scan increased, meriting a closer look. 

iStockphoto © Frank Fennema

My ”half-full” glass view:

-Had I not been in the hospital, I would most likely not have had the CT scan on my left leg.

-Had they not found the “suspicious” spot on my left leg during that CT scan, my doctors would not have known to order a PET scan now rather than when already scheduled.

-Had this PET scan not been done, what was going on in the adrenal gland would have stayed undiagnosed until my next PET scan in September due to the fact the spot on my leg couldn’t be safely biopsed.

-And if what was biopsied yesterday proves to be more cancer, we have a 3-5 week head-start on dealing with it compared to what was already scheduled.

My “half-empty” glass view:

-Has me “pissed-off” (sorry Mom – she hates that word) to think we might have gone through 7 out of 8 cycles of chemo only to have as many, if not more, unanswered questions as we did in March.

-Has me questioning where God is in all this and left wondering if this truly is His plan for our lives, then what the heck kind of plan is it?

-Has me confused…confused because before this all started, I thought I knew where being diligent stopped and trusting God started, but to be honest right, now I don’t have a clue. 

But as is the way I found that God sometimes works through other people or other things, Shari and I were reminded this morning how God wants all of us to approach the trials we face in life.

From August 18 Jesus Calling Daily Devotional:

“EXPECT TO ENCOUNTER ADVERSITY in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties. The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for Me.  When you became a Christian, I infused My very Life into you, empowering you to live on a supernatural plane by depending on Me.

Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where I want you–the best place to encounter Me in My Glory and Power. When you see armies of problems marching toward you, cry out to Me! Allow Me to fight for you. Watch Me working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow My Almighty Presence.

I wrote most of what you see here Wednesday night, so obviously I would not yet read today’s devotional. And even though what Shari and I read this morning doesn’t even come close to answering all of our unresolved medical questions, it goes a long way toward guiding both of us to the place God wants us!

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalm 91:1 

So we will be doing our best to dwell in His shelter and trying to find rest and comfort in the shadow of the Almighty all the while continuing to pray: This is the day Our Lord has made WE WILL rejoice and be glad!

Thanks to everyone for your prayers!

 ~Tom & Shari

trusting God period!